


Durarara and the gingerbread house

by Sociopathicnutellaeggplant



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Arakawa under the bridge - Freeform, Attempted Murder, BL, Banishment, Boy x Boy sex, Brotherly Love, Candy, Crossdressing, Drug Use, Forests, Hate, Hostage Situations, Hot gangsta dad, Kingdoms, M/M, Male stripping (later), Meme, NO depression or suicide, Not Modern, Please don't take this FanFiction too seriously, Sexual, Sexual References, Sexy Santa, Torture, Witch/Wizard, Yaoi, additional tags to be added later, bondage?, cheeky behaviour, daddy akabayashi, daddy shiki, dark humour, girly behaviour, inuendoes, mutilation of animals, references to other anime?, seductive, sexy outfits, slutty santa, slutty stockings, spit swapping, splinters, stimulation, substances, trippin' balls, unedited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 08:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant/pseuds/Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
Summary: One wizard in disguise uses his alluring powers to lure a poor soul to his house of candy. Unfortunately for him, the one who takes interest in him is a prince with a very loyal guard dog, the very same guard dog who keeps him out of the kingdom. will this poor little crossdressing wizard's powers of seduction and drugging abilities be enough for him to free himself from the confinements of his house?





	1. Meet the witch and prince

Izaya sat stirring his cauldron. Long black coat almost touching the ground beside the stool he rested his body on. The aroma of the room was nothing but repulsive to him, sweet, sickly, disgusting. He was getting sick of making all these potions in hope of making something that would lift his curse. Pieces of toads and eyes and other pieces of flesh that he swore moved when he did not look. He sighed, a long, deep sigh. 

"I'm beginning to think I'll really need a human soul to create my potion. I don't think anyone would be idiotic enough to fall for the old 'house of candy to lure children' trick." The bright colours or the room heavily contrasted him entirely. Deep black clothing, dark black hair, wicked personality, dark sense of humour, evil red eyes. Everything around him seemed to displease him. He stood, twirling in his short skirt and coat, winking at his reflection in the mirror. 

"I must say, even if I am cursed, being able to dress so splendidly is not so terrible. I might be able to lure an unsuspecting man here!" He giggled as femininely as possible before grabbing his broom that was sat against the pieces of candy. 

"Ah, they might not be as trusting seeing me holding this. I'm not too sure if I'll be able to trick them that I'm just trying to be housewife material either. These men are looking for an easy snag." He tossed the broom to the ground, a touch of OCD kicking in before placing it back in its rightful spot. He practiced various lady like movements and strained to keep his voice in a higher pitch. When he felt he was in his role, he walked out the door. When he took his first step out, he met eyes with a rather handsome young man with brown hair who looked in his twenties and was inspecting his candy house. The man seemed to be deep in thought, trying to understand how a house made out of these materials could still be standing, especially in the average weather of the rainforest it was built in. He took a quick peek at the man in his outfit and instantly Izaya dreaded he had been caught. 

"You're the owner?" He looked more than surprised and relief washed over Izaya. He knew this man had a reputation for being a performer but apparently he isn't as thick as most others. Izaya decided that he still wasn't in the clear, but it was a good opportunity to try out his seductive techniques. He bent over gracefully, being sure to allow the other to get a good view of his back side, while he ran his finger along the candy, gathering a small piece on his finger. He brought it up to his lips and slowly moved his tongue over it in a very suggestive manner. He was surprised to find that the others facial expression remained unchanged, so he decided that it was time for him to step it up. He approached the other and slowly slid the piece of candy, along with his finger into the mans mouth. 

"Yes, that's me" he smiled sweetly, his eyelashes fluttering as he purred in a seductive but feminine tone. He couldn't stop now. He couldn't allow all his hard work to go to waste. He gently slid his fingers over the other man's cheekbone, not seeming to affect him. 

"What brings such a handsome, young man to my home?" Izaya's eyelids slid down half way while he moved his face closer to the other man. The saliva from the man's mouth had been smeared slightly from his actions but he didn't seem to focused on that. Izaya took his own fingers that once held the candy and licked the other mans saliva off them, being sure to keep eye contact the entire time. His answer didn't particularly matter to Izaya, he knew he wasn't going to get one. When the piece of candy finally dissolved in the other man's mouth, his eyes closed and he fell into Izaya's arms. 

"What a shame it is to have to use you as a sacrifice. Let's just hope your pesky brother doesn't get in the way.". Izaya carried the man inside, bridal style. He may not be the most respectable person on this planet, but he wouldn't want to be dragged across the ground like a sack of potatoes. He decided for the moment that the most suitable placement for the man would be his bed, it's not like he’s even conscious at this moment, so him being there doesn't threaten his plans. Izaya ran over to his cauldron and made sure the ingredients weren't burned. They may not look or smell very appetising but living where he does makes it difficult for him to find better ingredients. 

The forest Izaya lives in is located west of a small town. Although the town is small in size, it is large in wealth because of its attractions. The town is a hot spot for entertainment, basically a freak show considering some of the acts it puts on. Everything from alluring beauties to showy scientists and overly strong men. Izaya once thought highly of the town, skipping through its streets, making fun of its citizens and causing trouble wherever he went.. until they discovered he was a witch that is. Izaya found himself scoffing at the thought that the town would welcome monsters that caused constant destruction but as soon as it's a witch everyone loses their shit. Their own so gracious guard dog does a good job of keeping him out. 

“If only I could turn them to stone. Ah, I'm starting to wish now I was some freaky woman with snakes for hair. Ridiculous.” He stared deeply into the bubbling pot of various squirming life forms. Limbs of spiders, frogs, rabbits, birds and various other creatures mixed with their eyes and internal organs. The entire mixture was a deep red, the same shade as the lipstick he wore. 

“It must be pretty terrible being forced to keep your soul within a dismembered body. Imagine that, being cut to pieces and cooked, feeling every piece of pain but not being able to do anything about it. I imagine that would be a problem with immortality. Living through all the pain the world has to offer, it's both a curse and privilege. I must say, if I were in your position I would much rather die than knowing I was to be consumed by someone. That's a worse fate than hell” he smiled grimly at his own words, poking at the squirming ingredients. Although they are unable to scream he could feel their screams. Almost a silent scream that would send shivers down anyone's spine. 

“It must be terrible knowing I'm what's between you and the gates of heaven. Unfortunately, I do not plan to let you enter, I apologise for that” Izaya took a decent scoop of the dismembered pieces of flesh and slowly poured them into his own mouth, grinning at uncomfortable feeling their movement gave. Each time his teeth made their way through the contents of the soup, a squelching sound mixed with crunching sounded throughout the room. The lost souls continued their silent song, truly music to Izaya’s ears. 

Just as he swallowed the mouthful of his meal, he heard footsteps outside the lightly coloured house. These footsteps were heavy and they shook the once stable ground around him. Panic filled him and he struggled to find a way out of his current situation. The brother of the man laying on his bed was currently stomping toward his delicate house, this same man being the one who feels nothing but hatred toward him and can smell him from kilometres away. Even his feminine appearance could not hide who he was. He backed away toward the sleeping man, feeling desperation. If it were not for his curse, he would have no problem escaping, but he's bound to the small area around his building by locks and chains that are invisible to the naked eye. He sighed and crawled on top of the man sleeping, his hips almost touching the mans. He placed the front of his skirt on the man’s stomach and leaned forward, making it so his hair covered the his face. Izaya took a knife out from his underwear and placed it to the man's neck, making sure the blade was not visible to anyone who may enter through the front door. He then began rocking back and forth and forcing feminine moans, what he was hoping would be his brothers weakness. 

“Oh~ ahhh! Ahhh! Kasuka, you’re so big!” Although his sexual actions were being faked, he made sure to put every last bit of his acting ability into making it believable. Moments after his moans started, he could hear the slight screech of the door. Although he could not see the monster directly, he could feel his presence, his eyes burning a hole into Izaya. His murderous intent was sky high and his darkened aura was leaking through the crack in the door, darkening the room considerably. 

“Ahhhh! Ahhh! K-kasuka! Ahh!” He closed his eyes tightly in an attempt to ignore the monsters presence, which of course has no effect. He held tightly onto the other as he let out the most convincing moans he could manage. As if Izaya’s luck couldn't get any worse, Kasuka made a tired moan and stirred lightly. Izaya’s eyes flew open and were met with slightly confused but a still straight expression. Izaya froze. He felt embarrassed and couldn't think of a way out of this. All eyes were on him and he couldn't stand the feeling. His performance had come to an end, no applause, no flowers being thrown, no cheering, just silence with a dash of confusion and murderous intent. Izaya looked toward the door and the sight of the monster was far more terrifying than his imagination had made him believe.


	2. Hot gangsta dad

Izaya’s eyes were locked, with the ever so loyal guard dog on the other side of his delectable door. He struggled to find a way out of this mess. Without warning, irrationality took over his actions and the pillow that was propping Kasuka’s head up was being tossed across the room. Words could not describe how much Izaya wished he could die at this moment. Immortality may be the bee's knees but it certainly has its way to screw one over. They say there's no beauty without pain and unfortunately for this young Sheila, beauty is something he has much of. 

“P-pervert!” He screamed in an attempt to distract the monster from the scent that he must have picked up. Being caught with your pants down is one thing, but being caught with your dick against another man’s stomach is another, especially if you’re trying to have an appearance of something without a dick. 

There was a sudden puff of smoke near the chimney that caught everyone's attention. Moments later, a man dressed in a sexy, slutty santa outfit fell down onto the non lit fire. He yelped from the splinters that stuck into his ass. He fell flat on his face, smashing his glasses in the process. The man sat up with a groan. Everyone else was silent, not blinking for several seconds. The man rubbed his eye, well, he only had one eye.

“Hot gangsta dad?” Izaya questioned, forgetting about his high pitched voice because of shock.

“Oh... wrong house. I was meaning to enter into my daddy’s house”

“Oh~ hot gangsta dad and hot gangsta dad’s daddy is having a smoky night together?” Izaya tried to keep casual conversation to avoid the obvious death glares he was getting through the door. Hot gangsta dad winks at Izaya to answer his question and finally notices the position he is on Kasuka. 

“I see that you’re sleighing it.” Hot gangsta dad pours himself a bowl of the boiling pieces of mangled animals. He drags the chair into a darker part of the house. He goes to sit down like the classy bitch he is but when his plump cheeks hit the wooden surface, he yelps like a real bitch. Hot gangsta dad stands up and inspects his ass, only to find blood dripping down from the splinters that have forced their way into his fine ass. As he plucks them out, the material of his slutty stockings go with it, leaving a large hole of missing material in a very convenient area of his ass. Below the slutty material, parts of lacy panties show themselves. 

Daddy Akabayashi gives no fucks. 

Once all the splinters have been removed from the plump meat on his backside, he resumes his sitting position, ignoring the blood that pours out of his body and stains the chair below. At worst, everyone will just assume Izaya had sat here, if they fell for his interesting appearance that is. When he finally managed to get comfortable on the chair, he crossed his legs and slowly began to eat the soup that was so kindly provided to him. He gave the two on the bed a small, serious nod. 

“Continue” he said, expression unchanging. 

Izaya smirks at daddy Akabayashi and decides it's about time to tease his sweet big brother. He takes another piece of candy from the wall of his house and begins licking it suggestively, much like the first time. He has his audience completely captivated when the candy makes its way into his mouth. Izaya slides his hands up Kasuka’s body until they reach his chest. He bends down and uses one of his hands to force the other’s mouth open. At this point, Shizuo’s rage could be felt from space. The temperature inside the room had risen many degrees, unless that was just their blood rushing from Izaya’s seductive movements. The entire world slows down as Izaya’s mouth moves closer to Kasuka’s. When their lips meet, the sound of the door cracking was heard, which no one seemed to care about. Izaya greedily ravished the other man, making sure the candy dissolved in his mouth. He was sure to add some moaning to make his dearest brother’s blood boil a little more.

**Author's Note:**

> Yep.. someone actually took the time out of their lives to write this... and that someone happened to be me.  
> I guess there'll be more chapters? I don't know who would want to read more of this trash.


End file.
